THE WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL

by **Paul** Sun 11 Dec 2022, 7:56 am

WGT National Enquirer Comic Contest for June

andyson
6,415 Posts

Tue, May 24 2011 1:26 PM

It's back!

Your chance to contribute to the June WGT National Enquirer

The Enquirer has learned WGT will have an expanded presence at this year's US Open. WGT is sponsoring Tai Chi Sword stretching exercises for the players on their way to the practice range. We have an exclusive photo of a dry run held recently at Congressional with Phil, Tiger, Lee Westwood and Martin Kaymer.

Fill in the bubbles with the player's thought or comment.. (Bubbles are shown as thoughts right now, but I will change if required)

The best entry will be featured on the cover of the next Enquirer.

The deadline for submissions is Tuesday May 31st at 11:59:59 PM Pacific Daylight Time.

Entries will be judged on originality, relevancy, and humor. Multiple entries are allowed. Campaigning is allowed. The only thing not allowed really is changing the photo below.

Decision of the judge, me, is final mostly. And I reserve editorial right to modify your entry to fit the bubbles, etc.

Let's see 'em people!

Click on photo for a larger image.
Example:
Phil says: Parallel Westwood! Get the sword parallel to the ground!
Tiger thinking: Sure glad Elin didn't have a sword...
Lee thinking: Bloody loudmouth Yank
Martin thinking: Hah! Those idiots are wearing street shoes.
gsoup
2,929 Posts Tue, May 24 2011 3:53 PM
from left to right
YMCA
-G
renniw52
5,385 Posts Tue, May 24 2011 4:19 PM
left to right, Wax on Wax off--focus grasshooper-Yo Adrian-I must break you!!!
renniw52
5,385 Posts Tue, May 24 2011 4:22 PM
Darn Hopper, not Hooper that was Bert Reynolds.
lvietri
3,326 Posts Tue, May 24 2011 5:22 PM
Phil --- "I wish i could stick this sword in Tiger"
Lee --- "I wish i could stick this sword in Tiger"
Martin --- "I wish i could stick this sword in Tiger"
Tiger --- "Anyone know where the closest strip club is ? "
lvietri
3,326 Posts Tue, May 24 2011 5:31 PM

Phil --- "Come on Bollox .. I'm ready for you"
Lee --- "AvatarLee my azz ... I'm the #1 Lee on WGT"
Martin --- "Hey Priestess --- Let's Rock"
Tiger --- "Anyone know where the closest strip club is ? "
lvietri
3,326 Posts Tue, May 24 2011 5:35 PM

Phil --- "I'm going to take this sword and cut down that dam tree on BP #2 !!!"
Lee --- "I'm going to take this sword and cut down the F'ing Fescue on St A 4 !!!"
Martin --- "I'm going to take this sword and cut up whoever invented this infernal meter !!!"
Tiger --- "Anyone know where the closest strip club is ? "

Anyone sense a recurring theme ???
LizzieRossetti
1,545 Posts Tue, May 24 2011 6:14 PM
Phil...Who ARE these guys
Lee...Count to ten,one ,two,five,six,oh,ten
Martin...Bread,milk,bacon,ketchup,umm,what else did she say,oh ya,coffee
Tiger...Oh! A butterfly!

Lizzie xx
Sorry Lou,no reccuring theme occurs
JuanMendoza
466 Posts Wed, May 25 2011 1:19 AM
Phil - Jesus, doesn't ANYONE know how to clear their cache?
Lee - Why am I waiting for these losers? I could be shooting zombies...
Martin - Bloody hell, 12 minutes and counting...
Tiger - Wow, this is the best porn site EVER!
bfghd
1,321 Posts Wed, May 25 2011 3:33 PM
Tiger- AH! my knee can't hold this forever idiot!
Lee- Must find a way to fill those lakes in at Congressional before I waste too much money!
Phil- Stupid Legnds, they're making qualifying too dang hard!
Martin- This is so not worth $50 an hour..

WGT National Enquirer Comic Contest for June 2011 U914702_20120627_213019.jpg?0.160

WGT National Enquirer Comic Contest for June 2011 USA.gif?0.160

sixkiller
1,147 Posts

Wed, May 25 2011 4:01 PM

Phil: I have GOT to get a sports Bra! Tiger: When do the broads show up? Lee: I need a proper Broad Sword! Martin: Jeez, Phil is getting chunky!
ThreeSpot
476 Posts Wed, May 25 2011 8:16 PM
Phil thinking: Hell, I'll do anything to finally win this.
Tiger thinking: I could teach these guys a thing or 2 about thrusting.
Lee thinking: Who's #1? Losers.
Martin says: My name is Martin! Martin!!!
ThreeSpot
476 Posts Wed, May 25 2011 8:17 PM
Phil thinking: 1000 credits and this is all I have to do? Sweet!
Tiger thinking: I hope this doesn't violate the terms of my TWO contract.
Lee thinking: Look dignified, look dignified, look dignified...
Martin thinking: Wow, how old are these guys?
MonumentValley
58 Posts Wed, May 25 2011 8:39 PM
Phil - "Chi Chi would be, really, good at this."
Eldrick - "Nicklaus didn't have to do this ****."
Lee - "Someday when I'm given my knighthood, King William is gonna come at me with one of these things."
Martin - "Andyson should have put up the picture of Barry toasting the Queen."
sixkiller
1,147 Posts Thu, May 26 2011 7:44 AM
1. Phil: Still no left handed avatar!
2. Tiger: Why are all the black guys bald?
3. Lee: I'm #1, why cant I shoot 53?
4. Martin: Damn, Phil is getting chunky!
opyeuclid
6,666 Posts Thu, May 26 2011 8:20 AM
1. Phil : When is lunch ?
2. Tiger : I have a wedgie
3. Lee: Did you see that Yancy made Master !!
4 . Martin : Who is Yancy ?
TWOMINUSONE
2,580 Posts Thu, May 26 2011 8:22 AM

Phil thinking: Ive never heard of this TAI CHI course. I wonder where it is?
Tiger thinking:Man, im up to here in the s**t.
Lee thinking: Bet you anything Phil thinks its a New course somewhere, he he.
Martin thinking: Ugh, i need a new deodorant.
TWOMINUSONE
2,580 Posts Thu, May 26 2011 8:27 AM
Phil Singing: Everybody was kung fu fighting........
Tiger says: Theres a difference between kung fu and Tai chi Phil.
Lee Says: Hey Tiger, i suppose your going to tell us there is a difference between Cabo del sol and Kiawah next, eh?
Martin says: Lets not get into that 1 guys.
lvietri
3,326 Posts Thu, May 26 2011 6:53 PM
Phil .... I'd love to play a round with BolloxInBruges
Lee ... I'd love to play a round with AvaterLee
Martin .. I'd love to play a round with that old guy ... what's his name .. Tibbets
Tiger ... I'd love to play around with Lizzie, Priestess, SweetiePie, IvaThongon, FreakieDeakie, Rosie5, Lisa03, etc. etc. etc.
opyeuclid
6,666 Posts Thu, May 26 2011 7:03 PM
The Zeen Master ( aka AndyZeen )            Tell,s them all to be    ,
   "in peice with your inner self "
Zeen Master then tells them,,,
  let the man that you are be true !!!
Phil thinks ,,,,    I am the Man that I made of myself   .
Lee thinks,,,,,,, I am the ball and I am the master of my game .
Martin thinks ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Its not the club,s that make the Man    ,But the Man that make,s the club,s
Tiger thinks for a long time ,,,,,,,,,,,,    IM BATMAN

WGT National Enquirer Comic Contest for June 2011 U423210_20120613_172135.jpg?0.160

lvietri
3,326 Posts

Thu, May 26 2011 7:09 PM

Sung to the tune of "With a little help from my Friends" ...
Phil - Oh I get by with a little help from my friends
Lee - Mmm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Martin - Mmm, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends
Tiger - Yoiu guys need better friends ... I get laid with a little help from my friends - With a little help from my FRIENDS - MMM
resozv
893 Posts Fri, May 27 2011 6:07 PM
Tai chi my foot ...
TRY THIS
Phil: No comment
Lee: Ouch
Martin: Oooofff
Tiger: One more time
andyson
6,415 Posts Sat, May 28 2011 10:02 AM
4 days and only 3 pages so far? Too tough? Or is everyone busy trying to get below the cut line?
PugsAce
1,825 Posts Sat, May 28 2011 12:28 PM
sixkiller
1,147 Posts Sat, May 28 2011 2:06 PM
Phil: I think i just sliced my left moob!
Tiger: When I was #1 I didn't have to do this sh**!
Lee: I AM #1, why am I doing this sh**?
Martin: I'm #3, I try harder!
oldmanhacker
47 Posts Sat, May 28 2011 10:05 PM
Phil; Rub your head, pat your belly. Rub your head, pat your belly. Got it!
Tiger: Rub my "Winkie", I'll pat your head.... heh heh!!
Lee: Pat your bell....no,no,..Pat your head, cut your belly. That's it!
Martin: I farted......Downwind!!..Downwind!!...Hook!!...Hook!!!....Got lucky on that one.
oldmanhacker
47 Posts Sat, May 28 2011 11:01 PM
Phil: No lefty avatars on WGT, you sure?
Tiger: No sex on WGT? Ohhh, my leg hurts. My foot hurts. I quit.
Lee: WGT is harder than the PGA. Should have stayed on the European Tour.
Martin: WGT...i thought it stood for World German Tour.
oldmanhacker
47 Posts Sat, May 28 2011 11:25 PM
Phil: This is gonna help our slice?
Tiger: Shut up. You try standing like this with a bad leg,a bad foot and a boner.
Lee: Cheer up, chaps. This is the easy part.
Martin: Yeah, wait till you see what we have to do to fix our hook. Just don't let this guy behind you, that's all i got to say.
oldmanhacker
47 Posts Sat, May 28 2011 11:37 PM
What do you think, gentlemen?
Phil: I'm bored.
Tiger: I want to go play Tiger Woods Online.
Lee: I'm hungry.
Martin: I just want to go home.
PRIESTESS
10,560 Posts Sun, May 29 2011 7:02 AM
Pffft.

by **Paul** Tue 20 Dec 2022, 10:00 am

1

sixkiller
1,147 Posts

Sun, May 29 2011 7:16 AM

Phil: Crap!, I just ripped my britches!
Tiger: Warm up? Warm up?. I don't need no stinking Warm up!
Lee: What are we going to do at St. Georges?, yoga maybe?
Martin: I hope that rip I just heard wasn't a fart!
StrangeMagic
1,304 Posts Sun, May 29 2011 8:06 AM
Phil: I have a 1 in 1,000 chance of pulling this off....Bones, I'm goin for it !
Tiger: I don't care if its gonna cost me 100 million...Those IHOP waitresses are hot !
Lee: If I don't win I'm goin to the pub with me boys !
Martin: I may look like I need a laxative but that's just my game face.
DuffyWaldorf
286 Posts Sun, May 29 2011 6:51 PM
All in unison: No pit stains thanks to our Dove Men + Care products

Happy Golfing
Joe
PS the only thing that stinks is my sense of humor
bfghd
1,321 Posts Sun, May 29 2011 7:04 PM
Phil: UGH, when they said US Open training I didn't imagine this.
Tiger: The only upside is the hot yogs instructors.
Lee: Dang, stupid pond costs me my 1st place ranking.
Martin: Hey, at least I get free golf balls!
PugsAce
1,825 Posts Sun, May 29 2011 10:57 PM
andyson
6,415 Posts Tue, May 31 2011 9:51 AM
This ends at midnight tonight. Last call!
opyeuclid
6,666 Posts Tue, May 31 2011 12:12 PM
Phil,,     Why did Yancy cross the road ?
Lee,, do tell us please.
Martin,, Yes please tell us.
Phil ,,   Someone said they saw Frank Zappa in a bowl of corn flake,s
Tiger,,   I dont get it
sixkiller
1,147 Posts Tue, May 31 2011 3:12 PM
Phil: Andyson is a Sadist!
Tiger: Andyson put me on the back row, grrrrr!
Lee: Andyson, the red tassel clashes with my pastels!
Martin: Who the hell is Andyson anyway?
andyson
6,415 Posts Tue, May 31 2011 5:03 PM
sixkiller
1,147 Posts Tue, May 31 2011 7:00 PM
andyson:
Damn Andy, can't run anything by you!

sixkiller
1,147 Posts

Tue, May 31 2011 7:07 PM

Phil: sh**! might need a breast reduction!
Tiger: sh**! might need sex addiction intervention!
Lee: Sh**! might need A cheat program to shoot 53!
Martin: Sh**! might need name recognition!
andyson
6,415 Posts Fri, Jun 3 2011 12:45 PM
I had to go with multiple winners again this month, I used contributions from Sixkiller, DuffyWaldorf and TWOMINUSONE in the Enquirer comic. My thanks to all for participating. Lots of good entries and it was tough choosing.
Look for the WGT National Enquirer June edition very, very, shortly.
Sixkiller, DuffyWaldorf and TWOMINUSONE have all received this unique, handcrafted, and very expensive WGT National Enquirer Comic Contest "Screwball" trophy..
TWOMINUSONE
2,580 Posts Fri, Jun 3 2011 1:31 PM
LOL Andyson. Cheers mate, it certainly suits my game at the moment.
DuffyWaldorf
286 Posts Thu, Jun 9 2011 6:23 PM
Deeply honored. Thank you kind sir.

Happy Golfing
Joe