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WGT National Enquirer Comic Contest for August 2011
Page 1 of 1
WGT National Enquirer Comic Contest for August 2011
by Paul Sun 11 Dec 2022, 6:59 am
WGT National Enquirer Comic Contest for August
PAGE 1 - 4 FULL
I was searching for something and came across this thread. Sooooo funny! My winner was LVietri's entry (2nd post on page 3), and that was before I saw Andy's decision! Great minds think (thought?) alike 
This was the Enquirer edition, with the captions being for the top left photo (under the main heading):
PAGE 1 - 4 FULL
 |   | andyson 6,415 Posts | Sun, Jul 24 2011 2:54 PM |
- One more time!
Your chance to contribute to the August WGT National Enquirer
The Enquirer Las Vegas sources tell us that WGT whisked the top 5 players to a local resort this spring for an Elite 5 Championship. No word when the video will be available.
As the WGT lawyer droned on and on about the competition T&C, and Mr. WGT and his personal assistant looked on, our players quickly became bored as shown in the cell phone photo below.
What did they talk about?
Not wanting to clutter the photo with bubbles yet, you are allowed only one bubble per person in the photo (Lawyer excluded) and you need not have a bubble for all persons in the photo.
The best entries will be featured on the cover of the next Enquirer.
The deadline for submissions is Sunday July 31st at 11:59:59 PM Pacific Daylight Time.
Entries will be judged on originality, relevancy, and humor. Multiple entries are allowed. Campaigning is allowed. The only thing not allowed really is changing the photo below.
Decision of the judge, me, is final mostly. And I reserve editorial right to modify your entry to fit the bubbles, etc.
Let's see 'em people!
As always, click on the image for a larger picture.
Example:
AvatarLee: Where's the waitress eh? My beer's warm.
Jake: I'm hungry. Can someone loan me a 20? I lost four hundred at the craps table last night.
Bollox: Sure Jake, after you gift me 10 sleeves of Callaways!
Jake (thinking) ... wish Priestess was in front of me so I could look at her butt.
lvietri
3,326 PostsSun, Jul 24 2011 6:13 PM
Mrenn (thinking) ... wish Priestess was in front of me so I could look at her butt.
Bollox (thinking ... wish Priestess was in front of me so I could look at her butt.
Priestess (thinking) ... nice butt's boys.
Avatar Lee (thinking) ... eh
Leader (by the blackboard). "Will the first annual meeting of the Deviation's "A" team please come to order.lvietri
3,326 PostsSun, Jul 24 2011 6:14 PM
Priestess ... "Chit .. I'm in the wrong room" !!!
AvaterLee; Ask Strage Magic to put the beans on it's going to be a long night.
Yappy22
733 PostsSun, Jul 24 2011 6:14 PM
Bollox: Get Yancy over here I wore out my dangle meter.
mrenn: Wait...wait.. call Wgt I can't log on.
Jake: Whata ya mean I can't buy a new putter.
Priestess: Ask Lizzie to write me poem to get me in the mood me whip these jack-a-naps.
Jake ... Excuse me .. What time does the seminar on Shaky Meters start ???lvietri
3,326 PostsSun, Jul 24 2011 6:32 PM
p: take my picture again ill take that camera away starting at your eye ball
gsoup
2,929 PostsSun, Jul 24 2011 6:36 PM
a: will i be able to play while im running the iditrod, the meter might work better if my lappy is cold
b: how can i concetrate when im watching this great show
m: should i go all in on a pair of deuces?
j: ill gift you some callaways if you sign the damn cba,
Top 5 Tactics
TWOMINUSONE
2,580 PostsMon, Jul 25 2011 2:07 AM
All thinking
AvatarLee: Oh God, Priestess is eye'ing me up. How am i going to play with a dodgy meter, and my nerves shredded from this sexy lady checking me out?
Priestess: He He, thats AvatarLee psyched out, he wont win. Now to move onto Jake and the rest of them.
Jake: He He, Avatar is sweating. Now if i can just get the correct Fantasy screen up, that will Psyche Priestess out.
Bollox: I just need to reach down left here, and yank Mrenn's power cable out.
Mrenn: I know they are up to something, stay cool, pretend they are not here.
P: So tell me Avatar, which 1 should i go for? The black, blue or pink number?TWOMINUSONE
2,580 PostsMon, Jul 25 2011 6:23 AM
A: (Thinking) Dont rise to the bait, Concentrate, Dog sleds, Dog sleds, Black sleds, Pink stockings. DANG............ she's good.
J: HEY, Priestess. I got you in my Fantasy team. Want to play around?
M: (Whispering) Hey Bollox, Help me out man. I have all clubs here, but i cant see backspin on any of them. Should i fold?
B: (Whispering) Cant help you Mrenn, Mr WGT is staring right at me, and so is his Daughter. Or is she his Wife? I wonder how many credits did she cost?
All 5 players thinking.........
sixkiller
1,147 PostsMon, Jul 25 2011 7:20 AM
AvLee: Wish Priestess would take off the hoodie........
Jake: How in the hell do they expect me to play with a good computer?
Bollox: HeHe, a 5 player final table? They are dead meat!
Mrenn: WHAT? No Southern Comfort at the bar? I'm doomed!
Priestess: Hmmmm, if I take off the Hoodie and show some skin, I can destroy these male chauvinist pigs!
Bollox: I'm a blowfish Yo ! I'm gonna start cookin and break these posers bad !
StrangeMagic
1,304 PostsMon, Jul 25 2011 7:29 AM
AvatarLee: No doot aboot it, eh? I'm gonna beat these hoser's then get a tuque with a toonie and nab a double-double and chill out, or kick back with a brewski and buffalo wings for some R'n'R, eh? These hoser's don't know I put maple syrup on their mouse, eh?
Jake: I'm 6' 7" and a black belt and I just got metered. I'm gonna knock Bollies hat off and take away Lee's beer. And tell Priestess that Mrenn's got the hots for her. Damn meter!
mrenn: I'm gonna ask Priestess to go to the Drive-In, then I'm gonna tell Jake that the Dolphins suck, then I'll put Ex-Lax in Lee's brewski. Who is the hottie with MrWGT?
Priestess: I've got all their room keys, I'm going to give Jake's to Lee, Lee's to mrenn and mrenn's to MrWGT with a note to come up to my room for a night-cap with a lipstick kiss on the note.
MrWGT: Don't worry baby, I'll just dial up the VEM and they'll be so busy they won't see us sneak up to our penthouse suite.
 |   | sixkiller 1,147 Posts | Mon, Jul 25 2011 8:12 AM |
- Jake: Kinda lonely here with no friends.
Priestess: Glad they had this thing in Vegas, I've been needing some sunlight.
Bollox: I know what Walter would do.
Mrenn: Win one stinkin little tournament and they stick me in with this bunch?
AvLee: Priestess would look good in the pink one!
J: Hey Avatar, i thought we where here to play WGT, what gives?
TWOMINUSONE
2,580 PostsMon, Jul 25 2011 8:30 AM
P: Yeah Lee, i was expecting to open a can of whoop-ass on you all.
A: I dont know folks, my guess is Mr WGT bought out these other sites, and wants us to be the best on these also.
B: When they said "Elite 5" i thought they where talking about us, not these other sites.
M: Oh Crap, It sucks to be a beginner again.
After explaing that the top 5 where brought here under false pretences, the speaker explains the real reason they are here.TWOMINUSONE
2,580 PostsMon, Jul 25 2011 9:18 AM
Speaker: Jake, we want you to pick the players who you think will rise to the top.
J: Yeah, i wish.
Speaker: Bollox, we want you to keep a lid on things in the forums, stop the masses from rebelling, so to speak.
B: Sure, i will throw my hat into the ring.
Speaker: Priestess, we want you to Design new avatars, we are getting many requests for this.
P: No problem, i can slip into that roll easily.
Speaker: Mrenn, your job will be to throw a spanner in the works, crank up the VEM and all that kind of stuff, to upset the odds.
M: Okey Dokey, i can deal with that.
Speaker: And finally to you AvatarLee. Your job is to check out our competitors for pricing, report back to us with anything you can find.
A: Well thats just Bloody Priceless.
StrangeMagic
1,304 PostsMon, Jul 25 2011 9:26 AM 
StrangeMagic:
Bollox: I'm a blowfish Yo ! I'm gonna start cookin and break these posers bad !
AvatarLee: No doot aboot it, eh? I'm gonna beat these hoser's then get a tuque with a toonie and nab a double-double and chill out, or kick back with a brewski and buffalo wings for some R'n'R, eh? These hoser's don't know I put maple syrup on their mouse, eh?
Jake: I'm 6' 7" and a black belt and I just got metered. I'm gonna knock Bollies hat off and take away Lee's beer. And tell Priestess that Mrenn's got the hots for her. Damn meter!
mrenn: I'm gonna ask Priestess to go to the Drive-In, then I'm gonna tell Jake that the Dolphins suck, then I'll put Ex-Lax in Lee's brewski. Who is the hottie with MrWGT?
Priestess: I've got all their room keys, I'm going to give Jake's to Lee, Lee's to mrenn and mrenn's to MrWGT with a note to come up to my room for a night-cap with a lipstick kiss on the note.
MrWGT: Don't worry baby, I'll just dial up the VEM and they'll be so busy they won't see us sneak up to our penthouse suite.
Condensed version to fit into the bubbles:
Bollox: Yo, I'm a blowfish, Yo !
Jake: I'm 6'7" and I'm a BlackBelt, damn meter!
Lee: No doot aboot it, eh? Maple syrup on their mouses, eh?
mrenn: I'm gonna ask Priestess to tell Jake that the Dolphins suck!
Priestess: I've got a note with a lipstick kiss on it to come up to my room for a night-cap from StrangeMagic.
MrWGT: Baby, who's this guy Mr N?
----------------ROUGH DRAFT--------------
TurkishTerror
2,177 PostsMon, Jul 25 2011 10:57 AM
Mrenn: "How the Fu%^?!?!? I mean wha...WHY!!! WHY!!! WOULD YOU CALL $100 ON A RAINBOW FLOP WITH A 83 OF SPADES!! YOU STUPID ***!!!"
Jake: "I can trade them my guitar, and wash their car everday for first pick". Wait, what if the players and owners cant agree to end the lock out? Oh my God, what if they,??.....holy mother of......whyyyyyyyy whyyyyyy?!!!
Bollox: "shhhh, , Ive got some E-Harmony hits on my profile. Oh wow, check this one out Alee!"
ALee: "Yeah Yeah, Who has time for chicks when you need a dog sled. Should I get the white or blue sled?"
Priestess: "My favorite color is blue. I give blue balls to everyone in my CC that wins tournaments. BTW, which one do you like better, the Fringe High lace panties, or the I Mop the Floor with ALL Players Pink bra"
-------------------------FINAL DRAFT-------------------------------TurkishTerror
2,177 PostsMon, Jul 25 2011 11:39 AM
Mrenn: WHY!!! WHY!!! WOULD YOU CALL $100 ON A RAINBOW FLOP WITH A 83 OF SPADES!!
Jake: I could trade my guitar for Brett Favre, yeah GENIUS!!
Bollox: Cool, Ive got some hits on my E-Harmony profile.
ALee: aloud: "I need another beer. WGT comping us here or what?"
Priestess: I know he's looking. We could have WGT superbabies and rule!
LMAO Too funny,
PRIESTESS
10,560 PostsMon, Jul 25 2011 3:44 PM
Lawyer at the Blackboard: "Sorry Priestess, you have been bumped, we're bringing in SCK"sixkiller
1,147 PostsMon, Jul 25 2011 5:16 PM
Bollux: No way! I just bought her the pink nitey!
AVLee: Chit! Stoney's on a roll!
Mrenn: Ah, another 1 hit wonder!
Jake: Hold on there! He's not on my list!
Priestess: Sounds like a sex discrimination lawsuit to me, he he.
Mr WGT: hmmm maybe the ELITE 6?
Jake: "Hell yeah, I have enough WGT credits to buy the Miami Dolphins now"!! TurkishTerror
2,177 PostsMon, Jul 25 2011 7:02 PM
Mreen: "Hey fellas, can we take an hour break, I just made the final table!
Bollox: "Hey guys, check out how I looked before my hair transplant"
Alee: speaking "AvatarLee needs another beer!! AvatarLee doesnt wait for beer, come on"!!
Priestess: "Why is he speaking in 3rd person"? "Wonder if this blue makes me look fat?
Ok Im done!!
Me: I sure would like to help Tess get her hard 8! What's that? No, I have no idea how to play craps.
jakestanfill7
949 PostsMon, Jul 25 2011 7:32 PM
Lee: FFS, I thought these systems were waterproof! Spill one lousy Molson on the hard drive and now my meter looks like Jake's. I just hope I don't whine as much as him.
Tess: I sure do wish this Jake creep would stop trying to look up my cloak and turn the f around. He gives me the heebie jeebies.
BB: Who cares who wins as long as Renn invites me to his room later. I'll show him Bollox in Bruges!
Renn: Why does this Bollox kook keep looking at me? He must be trying to cheat.
| | | sixkiller 1,147 Posts | Mon, Jul 25 2011 8:22 PM |
- AvLee: Screw the dog sleds! If I can win this, I'll get a snowmobile!
Mrenn: Nice, 3 all ins, I got the nuts!
Jake: Whew!!, lock out is finally over, now I can get serious!
Bollox: This guy looks familiar.
Priestess: These outfits are lame! Look at the cool sleds!
MrWGT: So what made you all start playing WGT ?
lvietri
3,326 PostsTue, Jul 26 2011 9:49 AM
AvLee: I got hurt playing Hockey
Mrenn: A baseball injury ended my career
Bollox: The US put a Ban - no more on-line Poker
Jake: An old football injury - I fell off a bar stool watching the Super Bowl
Tess: I ran out of batteries
Just as the Elite 5 prepare for the championship in their own ways, Bollox plays his trick card.TWOMINUSONE
2,580 PostsTue, Jul 26 2011 1:56 PM
B: Hey guys, take a look at the real me.
J: Holy Crap Bollox, is that really you. Im shocked man.
P: OMG!! Say it aint so.
A: WHOAH Dude, My eyes, i cant see. Im blinded by the shine.
M: I aint looking, i aint looking, I aint looking, put it away man.
MrWGT has his favourite player, and tries to putt the other Members off their game with his bit on the side.TWOMINUSONE
2,580 PostsWed, Jul 27 2011 1:45 AM
B: Man, my meter is sure going to spike during this game.
M: I hear you man, thats 1 patch of rough i wouldnt mind landing in myself.
J: Hey Lee, do you think she will put us off our stroke?
A: I think so Jake, Priestess has it easy here, no distractions.
P: I dont know Boys, i cant find her frigging Avatar anywhere on here. Im Gutted.
After going through the T+C's, the players realise the payout is somewhat smaller than usual.TWOMINUSONE
2,580 PostsWed, Jul 27 2011 4:38 AM
J: Hmmmm, Jackson or Williams. I need a winner here.
B: Bummer, cant get me a new Hat now.
M: Fold you S-O-B, FOLD. NOOOOOOO.
P: Pssst, Lee, can you spare a few credits until later, Im kinda short.
L: Sorry Priestess, im broke, im looking for a way to get us all home.
Mr WGT: See sweetie, they have no clue they are going to have to pay to play Cabo. sixkiller
1,147 PostsWed, Jul 27 2011 8:10 AM
Bollox: Did she just flash me?
AvLee: NO,NO, it was me BB!
Mrenn: Crap! Rags again!
Tess: That Trollop!
Jake: Where is the damn "I agree" to T&C button?
Bollie: What's Chad doing here with Dianne81, and not me?
Kurtsbuford
7,592 PostsWed, Jul 27 2011 8:32 AM
Lee: Uh Huh, tessie is giving me the eye, she likes what she sees!
Tessie: Nice beer belly Lee, try molson light bud!
Renn: C'mon over Dianne and deal at my table
Jake: F... I love that blue lipstick on her, damn meter is growing fast!
Reminder this ends tonight at midnight PDT.
andyson
6,415 PostsSun, Jul 31 2011 7:17 AM
Last call!TurkishTerror
2,177 PostsSun, Jul 31 2011 3:09 PM andyson:
Reminder this ends tonight at midnight PDT.
Last call!
are u suggesting we do better?
Great input from everyone as always! Thanks you!andyson
6,415 PostsMon, Aug 1 2011 11:05 AM
A special thanks to "The Elite 5" for being such good sports about this!
Lvietri's "So what made you all start playing WGT?" entry is this month's winner!
Thanks Lou!
The August Enquirer will be published very soon.
Andy
 | | MioKontic 4,165 Posts | Wed, Dec 7 2022 11:55 AM |
This was the Enquirer edition, with the captions being for the top left photo (under the main heading):
Paul- Admin
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